Don’t tell me I’m beautiful.


Well the title of this post might be slightly misleading. I think all of us girls like to feel, and be told, that we’re beautiful. Sometimes it feels sincere, and takes you aback, sometimes you know he’s just peddling a line he knows girls like to hear. When your gay friend tells you you’re beautiful, you know he means it.

But we don’t just wanna be perceived as beautiful. And a guy telling you you’re beautiful is not an indicator that he has actually paid attention or noticed any of the things that make you you. ‘You’re beautiful’ is like a joker card: use wherever whenever with whomever.

When someone tells you that your facial expressions are like cartoons, you know he’s looking. Or when someone says: ‘You’re about as quirky as they come- hold on to that’, you know he’s noticed your idiosyncrasies. My ex used to tell me that the way I described things made them ‘3D’. The men who’ve told me these things will know who they are, and will know their compliments rocked. And my favorite is for a guy to tell me, or make me feel, that I’m funny.

We want men to see us, beyond our pretty faces, no matter how beautiful these might be, hehe.

I got an email recently from a male friend, an email that was the best compliment I ever received. This is a guy who sees me, utterly and completely. I will share some of the email here, with his consent, translated from french. The fact that he shared it with me at all, expecting nothing in return, is a gift. He wrote about me in the third person:

… She’s so hesitant about everything that it drives me crazy, she walks around with a big exclamation mark on top of her head, she parks in the middle of the road to save a dog, gets drunk after a single glass of wine, thinks scars are sexy, and could win a world championship of sms-typing speed. A girl whose favorite movie is ‘As good as it gets’, who is passionate about books but doesn’t read as many, who doesn’t like shopping, who has a smile… A smile where her eyes shine too, a smile that makes me happy… Yesterday I even clumsily poured her a glass of water, just to see her smile…

So guys, next time you want to pay a girl a compliment, LOOK at her first, and be a bit creative.